A new constellation & some magical lessons.
🎶Once in awhile you get shown the light… in the strangest of places if you look at it right…🎶
My mother was a Libra. Today, October 8th, is her birthday. It's the first one since she passed away last November. She went into hospice the day before her birthday; the nurses had her room decorated with birthday signs and cards. People kept calling her Mary though, which was only the first half of her name (her name had two words). She never corrected them. Again, she was a Libra – and oh do they love to live in harmony.
Her nurse, Rebecca, was not a Libra. The birthday signs stayed, and new ones were added…”Hi, my name is Mary Ann. I like strawberry ice cream and ginger ale.” We are eternally grateful to Rebecca, for a number of reasons…
A few days before she passed, I told her I couldn't wait to see how she would continue to spread her magic. Her reply, leaning back with eyes closed and a raspy voice, was a slow “Rock-n-Roll” (something she never said – it was hilarious – and perfect, with hand symbols included).
As I started to write this post, thinking about what I really wanted to share, I automatically began typing the above lyrics. And as I did, that very song, Scarlet Begonias, came on my Spotify.
Was it chance? My mother’s magic? Her humor, which she fully reminded us of in those last few months? Or, was it my own need just to hear that one favorite lyric?
Who knows. But I'll still say, Thanks Mom. Magic received.
So - here's the thing. This is a season of grief for many, (certainly for me). Of change for many. Of uncertainty. And I have learned personally, and been witness to, that when we are open, honest, and vulnerable in times of grief, change, or uncertainty – as opposed to trying to find the answer, to process, or take control – we have a much better chance to actually receive what is coming next. Too many times I hear, “just focus on what you can control…there’s nothing else you can do…” And while I don't fully disagree, I do think it misses the mark → and a big one.
Being open, honest, and vulnerable may seem simple or obvious, or even clichéd, but it's really not. We need to learn to look within, between, and beyond. These three words have become my own constellation.
Within. How we bring awareness to our whole self. This is our lens. Just like a camera
it determines what we see. It shapes our perspective and influences how clearly we understand ourselves, others, and the environments we work and live in.
Between. How we bring awareness to our relationships. What exists in the middle – the thing that is created that we can't see. Just like when we look up at the stars, we know there is so much more that isn't visible. It takes vulnerability and a willingness to open ourselves to new perspectives, challenge assumptions, and let light (or darkness) into places we may have been avoiding, or stuck in.
Beyond. How we bring awareness to the greater systems we are part of, their identities, and a deeper understanding of our own, and shared, values and beliefs. Of what makes us (singular and plural) authentic.
In this constellation, just like our mind, body, and spirit, we have three nodes that allow us to look within, between, and beyond, all supported by the systems we are part of, looking up to our north star, our most authentic selves. These are the lessons I continually focus on for myself, and the lens to which I work.
So whether this is a time of grief, uncertainty, joy, rest, or all of the above. I hope you will look within, between, and beyond. Because… “once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right…”
Rock-n-Roll 🤘
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